about the nonsense that is making me cry

everyday i read dorothy's blog and feel this tiny pinch of jealousy,
that somehow she seems like she's really enjoying the most of her holidays, carefree and free.

and it all brings me back to earth about this whole orientation thing.

sigh.

there's really much to it than just the whole commitment weightage thing.
perhaps there is this side in me, disapproving of how the whole committee works, the whole "teamspirit" nonsense,
that makes me wanna stay far from it.

my commitment level, is backed by evidences and events.
my conscience is clear.
but to sum it up, its like. i'm doing it because i have to do it, and not because i love it.