many downs and ups

having applied illustration and darkroom techniques is a killer.

if you see me carrying that large cardboard box around school,
its a camera.

and i've become tanner from the long sessions under the blazing sun to get my self portrait right.

applied is done for now... only left coming up with the final hard copy.

many a times, i feel like giving up.
like when i spent 5 hours on that damn pinhole
and nothing's concrete nor perfect yet.

i guess fei's attitude keeps me up,
her never-say-die hardworking spirit.
it just spurs me,
and sometimes makes me ashamed for being a teeny whinny lazy.

i also think i should stop allowing the whole BT to affect me.
like small whinny comments i make when i say,
"if i had 15 weeks instead,
and 1 week is spent figuring out the pinhole unsuccessfully,
i'd move on.
but now i can't,
submission's next week."

i glad to say that after this 4 months upon my own resolution,
i've really tried my best.
like trying to do the impossible
in that pathetic amount of time.

i'm really really contended with my illustrations,
peggy says she likes it. :)
and for me,
its what i really REALLY put all my effort in it.

i had no confidence before i started the whole thing,
and i fully ultilised the tablet daddy bought me.
the whole style is contrived
when i mentally prep myself to stop feeling like "it should be like dat and dat..."
it just kinda reflects me.

i'm happy i've made myself
walk the talk.
create ideas that i know would have physically killed me,
but deciding to go for it anyway.

block's ending.
i wonder if i could press on this attitude
in the 2 other months to come.

i don't think i'd be taking up a module in block 6,
if i'm not given it.