another story of my life.

i thought i felt love this insane two weeks
all along feeling it was dishonest and impossible,
unforgiving of myself to fall so soon.

i didn't want to define it
because i didn't want to believe in it.
didn't want to have expectations,
and yet couldn't bring myself to accept the notion of a fling.

it was infatuation,
it was romantically fun.
it was essentially nothingness.
there was no trust, no respect, no future.
no fundamentals.

for that whirlwind romance,
i could gave up being myself for a while.
i took a break, an insane nonchalence to all that meant the world to me.
i couldn't focus, i couldn't concentrate,
all of my schoolwork, sloshed aside for a while.
all for the kind of "love" I hankered for so long.

today i woke up, stubborn.
there is no pain, i know why.
a month after turning nineteen,
i rode and briefly got sucked into Danger.