ni hao papa mama

When you think there's no one bothered enough with your meagre existence,
the whole insignificant world is watching your every move.
(and gossiping of it too!)

Right now its so extremely suffocating,
so unnecessary,
so childish,
particularly with my both parents' sudden heightened senses.
I don't want to recoil nor hide nor lie,
but what is a girl at 19 to deal with all that nonsense expectations?
it is completely, utterly unrealistic to expect so-and-so behaviors,
or so and so curfews,
or so-and-so dealings with temptations (the car!),
or stop-your-project-right-now.

I agree, Honesty is the best solution to deal with issues we face while growing up,
but how honest can you get when you're challenging two who refuse to see anything other than what they envision it to be?
And when you really are, you face a whole lot of unnecessary issues and troubles that really wasn't there to begin with. Had I been influenced, or behaving in a different manner, or picking up bad habits?
NO WHAT!

its only their' ways you're supposed to adhere to.
so how do you tell them otherwise?
its your life, your generation, a different society already!
Maybe I ought to get a tattoo or smoke, just to be packaged as the whole rebel living through teen-hood, then perhaps their concerns can finally be materialised.
Nakedness is not pornographic!

AND I THOUGHT I WAS DONE DEALING WITH ALL THE ANGST OF BEING A TEENAGER, WITH DEALING WITH SUSPICIOUS PARENTS AND OUT OF THE WHOLE GROWING UP SAGA.

You know, there's really nothing we're supposed to hide about. So if you in question reads this, just don't pretend you don't know I'm trying to talk to you LAH. Like damn childish right.

This post should end with a swear word just so I can hear you gasp and agonize about what happened to physically-here but something's-different Stef.

F.