After 3 naps and a 10 hour sleep in the lazy cool weather today,
I finally had the energy to concentrate on doing something that required more than 10 minutes of my attention. So yeah, to blog wasn't the top of the list, but nonetheless important amass other nonsense.
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1. Yuki
Over the weekend, I met up with dear Yuki and Reny for some Mongolian fare (which was quite a disappointment because it honestly just tasted like expensive Char Kway Teow) and the clubbing we've been wanting to do since New York in April.
So Yuki heard about MOS and have been asking me about it everytime she came to Singapore. When we finally made it there, I was awfully disturbed by the crowd, people and almost everything bugged me. Yucks, yikes, eee! But anyway, so her next trip to our tiny island will be furnished with a visit to Zouk, of which I kept raving in comparison to our choice that night. :(
Over the weekend, I met up with dear Yuki and Reny for some Mongolian fare (which was quite a disappointment because it honestly just tasted like expensive Char Kway Teow) and the clubbing we've been wanting to do since New York in April.
So Yuki heard about MOS and have been asking me about it everytime she came to Singapore. When we finally made it there, I was awfully disturbed by the crowd, people and almost everything bugged me. Yucks, yikes, eee! But anyway, so her next trip to our tiny island will be furnished with a visit to Zouk, of which I kept raving in comparison to our choice that night. :(
2. FYP
I am not quite happy with how the critique went on Monday. That despite, being ensured that I am still on the right track, I wished I had more directions. Happy for those who performed really well and pulled off quite an unexpected show!
Had talked to NH, who happened to be veteran in this field and felt inspired to strip away my shyness and confront my "fear". The images he said, reflects how the sitter is reflecting my reactions and directions.
I suddenly realised the obvious distinct pictorial "comfort level" when observing the images I created.
He shared with me his view about my project; about responsibility (like omg, where did that come from!)
about admitting that seeing can be sexual,
that sexuality is nothing to shy away about.
I believe the greatest takeaway I grasped was to admit to myself, in all sense of the project,
like just knowing its okay to see, and admitting it.
Then move on to not hide behind the camera.
Hmms. Perhaps I do need to experience it to understand.
Had talked to NH, who happened to be veteran in this field and felt inspired to strip away my shyness and confront my "fear". The images he said, reflects how the sitter is reflecting my reactions and directions.
I suddenly realised the obvious distinct pictorial "comfort level" when observing the images I created.
He shared with me his view about my project; about responsibility (like omg, where did that come from!)
about admitting that seeing can be sexual,
that sexuality is nothing to shy away about.
I believe the greatest takeaway I grasped was to admit to myself, in all sense of the project,
like just knowing its okay to see, and admitting it.
Then move on to not hide behind the camera.
Hmms. Perhaps I do need to experience it to understand.
3. Parents
Okay so by now, almost everybody knew about the whole paranoid parents. I hate myself for dealing it the way I am dealing with it right now, but I am just awfully reeling away from the sudden immense attention and manja-ness that is irking me, really. And in response, I come across as negatively rude, sometimes almost spiteful. I don't mean it, but I do it anyway because I am a stubborn fool.
She starts asking me about the TV programmes I was watching,
or even offering to make me breakfast, bringing in my vitamins every night.
And made remarks like, if she could rewind time, she would leave her job and be a stay-at-home mom.
And He starts calling me 18 times when I ain't back by eleven,
or try leaving the car with me so I can conveniently get around.
It's not like I don't appreciate it, but meantime get especially worked up and annoyed when he starts asking who I am going out with, or what I am doing, or that I have to be home by ten.
It's just.... mystifyingly disgusting, almost grossly sticky.
I don't understand it nor do I want to.
I just want things the way it used to be.
4. Secrecy
She starts asking me about the TV programmes I was watching,
or even offering to make me breakfast, bringing in my vitamins every night.
And made remarks like, if she could rewind time, she would leave her job and be a stay-at-home mom.
And He starts calling me 18 times when I ain't back by eleven,
or try leaving the car with me so I can conveniently get around.
It's not like I don't appreciate it, but meantime get especially worked up and annoyed when he starts asking who I am going out with, or what I am doing, or that I have to be home by ten.
It's just.... mystifyingly disgusting, almost grossly sticky.
I don't understand it nor do I want to.
I just want things the way it used to be.
4. Secrecy
I am so not the kind of person who could keep her life out of others. I am just simply one who needs to talk about it, and almost everyone I often think of them as someone close enough to know. Which eventually end up as many who knows about it but... whatever.
There is so much things that is going on right now in my life, and yet things just can't be the way I wish it would be. Yet I am convinced that I have to be contented, appreciative and even believing so much in all that I have.
There is one who knows all about everything and of whom I have grew so much in likeness over the years. I love her so much and respect her even more, and well situation put things in difficult positions that I rather not be in. As we speak, I just realised she had already came back from her holiday!
Little things matters, and so I am constantly bugged by it even if I keep it chucked aside. I wonder if it will eventually mean more than little things to me. Friends, support circles... are all important and integral to almost every channel and effort in your life, and I just find myself having to block out everything at present.
Aiyah.
5. Black Specs and Randomness
How come Black nerdy specs can transform someone looking so normal to one who looks like an extremely talented design genius? And how I can be actually fooled into it!
Why do we blog? The compulsion to talk, weirdly to nobody in mind, to know someone knows and yet not know who knows, like a channel. And however whatever, still not want my parents to read this. Bah!
2008, so somewhat far... but yet scarily near. Yeah. Jittery anticipation with immense concerns. Its like... THE future, you know? Not the coming future, but somewhat the time where you always thought of as a kid. When you graduate, when you grow up, when you become an adult-kinda-thing.
I'm scared.
6. Christmas
I hate Christmas when it doesn't feel like Christmas because the magic died when I am all grown up. What presents under what tree?
I am hoping Christmas would mean something to me this year, a little different with mush and love. But I just haven't felt like its soon Christmas...
Christmas needs shopping to feel like Christmas.
There is so much things that is going on right now in my life, and yet things just can't be the way I wish it would be. Yet I am convinced that I have to be contented, appreciative and even believing so much in all that I have.
There is one who knows all about everything and of whom I have grew so much in likeness over the years. I love her so much and respect her even more, and well situation put things in difficult positions that I rather not be in. As we speak, I just realised she had already came back from her holiday!
Little things matters, and so I am constantly bugged by it even if I keep it chucked aside. I wonder if it will eventually mean more than little things to me. Friends, support circles... are all important and integral to almost every channel and effort in your life, and I just find myself having to block out everything at present.
Aiyah.
5. Black Specs and Randomness
How come Black nerdy specs can transform someone looking so normal to one who looks like an extremely talented design genius? And how I can be actually fooled into it!
Why do we blog? The compulsion to talk, weirdly to nobody in mind, to know someone knows and yet not know who knows, like a channel. And however whatever, still not want my parents to read this. Bah!
2008, so somewhat far... but yet scarily near. Yeah. Jittery anticipation with immense concerns. Its like... THE future, you know? Not the coming future, but somewhat the time where you always thought of as a kid. When you graduate, when you grow up, when you become an adult-kinda-thing.
I'm scared.
6. Christmas
I hate Christmas when it doesn't feel like Christmas because the magic died when I am all grown up. What presents under what tree?
I am hoping Christmas would mean something to me this year, a little different with mush and love. But I just haven't felt like its soon Christmas...
Christmas needs shopping to feel like Christmas.
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