Hello I am a woman now.

I haven't blogged for the longest time. Perhaps its a passing of this journal, when one just becomes older and more guarded, less inclined to spill everything, and be less transparent. I just no longer feel so much about blogging my events and thoughts as often as I used to.

The Ginger Hair episode




As a Leo, I am shamelessly loving the attention it screams.

This feisty colour allows me to become any sort of person I wish to portray myself as; some days a rebellious fierce young woman, others a friendly creative. It becomes an identity, a brand of my name, its a "look-at-me-i-have-something-to-offer-the-world" as Tom puts it. I had wished for it to become a catalyst for me to develop a little angst and attitude, but alas! I guess this sort of personality, is either you have it or not.

Those at the studio embraces it with more acceptance, others like my parents hates it to the core. I relish every moment observing a perception change, a behavioral response as I interact in the little ways with the general public. It provides a platform for small talk, a brilliant topic as we delve into the inspiration for the hair, the method of dying it, the different ways to style it.. blah blah. I sense the extra effort in myself to be more polite to people, taxi drivers for example, to distinguish myself from a chao-lian. This colour, also forces me to look after my appearance a tad more than usual, because a washed out face and unstyled hair, completely doesn't go with this screaming tone. I love it!


Last Friday at Zouk

Getting pissed drunk is a life-changing experience! Its like getting into a uncontrolled consciousness, one that couldn't be more of an honest reflection of yourself as a person, as a personality and of your own character.

At this stage of my life, every bit of that night was a huge deal. The "glamourous" strolling in, the happening people of the crowd, the kind of drinks, the wobbly sensation and the bursting fiery for dance, the fight that got everyone talking, the cause he stood up for, the whole experience after was amazing. There was never one other night in my life, that could be of a larger deal than that was to me.

I ain't any sleepy drunk, or a happy drunk. I declare I'm an apologetic drunk, for apparently every sentences I spewed contained a "I'm sorry". At least now I know, bottles of champagne, triple tequila shots, and a bundle of toxic cocktails completely do not go down well on me.


FYP: Dip Show

I had thought the matter was to rest but apparently that certain lady is still pricking and jabbing my every image and blowing it out of context. Talk to me, the creator and the responsible one! Don't go about rallying for support and have round tables meetings to discuss my story without the author around, woman! Feminism, gender sensitivity have even crept in (has it not occurred to you that I the creator, is female too?). I have heard, that this photographic project is challenging and bringing out the worst in a variety of people, in their greedy salivating eyes and sick minds, though I honestly still cannot align myself to see the situation as they can possibly imagine and perceive it.

Now I am not to put out the book for display in the Dip Show, for the many varied excuses and the numerous people standing in the way, just-trying-to-protect-their-own-asses. I understand, but honestly I feel the way you are handling it, is a childish cowardly method. The certain man-in-charge has nicely compromised and agreed to my plan in place of the book, (I had refused to redo my whole damn panels, because FUCK YOU SCHOOL, I am not spending a single more unnecessary cents to appease your ridiculous senses.) and now, I am left looking forward to my one last week of commitment.

For this memory will be like another renewed life-driving force, (old primary-school memories where my very own form teacher had warned my classmates to "keep away from this wayward bunch"), and someday when my name will walk down history, I will mindlessly, ridiculously, senselessly, refuse to be associated nor aid in any single tiny way. Now I will only be even more motivated to ensure that name will flamboyantly sway down the aisle.

*Disclaimer: I love most of the lecturers, and appreciated every of those who have supported my development and growth as a photographers.


The Future

For now, everything looks bright and cheery. I am sufficiently employed, and prospectively employable. I shall begin soon on my applications, world travels, competitions, meeting people, and the many dreams I have to fulfill beyond my working duties.

Out with the mentality and comfort zone of being a student, people, its time we breathe fresh air to the industry that awaits us! ISN'T THE FUTURE BEYOND THE SUFFOCATING GROUND, BEYOND EXCITING!