the beauty in ugliness.

It was so horrible witnessing sides of people I couldn't believe one could possess. With incredulous selfishness and nonchalance, I stand dumbfounded. How can you face up to such conscience?

No longer disappointed, for now I am tired. People change and behaviors are decisions made and nurtured by themselves, by bringing myself to feel is only unnecessary emotions. I ought to only stand true to my belief, and in my own actions and words. Yet I know how people treat me would affect how I'd respect and treat them back.

Disheartened, but it was comforting to see that kindness still exist.
.
.
.
.
.
Lately, I suddenly seem to realised and be enlightened of a greater meaning to the actions/conversations I hold with dear friends. As if from a 3rd person's view, my inner self speaks to the self that was holding the conversation or performing the action. Like when advising a friend to focus on one step at a time, and all that would happen, will fall together. It was just small things I never realised nor believe before, and by spewing that advice, I was taken aback by the meaning I was conveying; of the ability that incidents and miracles happen outside planning and control. THIS, was never what I practiced before.

And indeed, miracles are happening. Somehow it felt like I was opened to observe and reflect, and I see and correct myself. Perhaps the friends you choose to behold holds key to moulding your personality, or the situation you are placed in reflects your values and belief.

If I am confusing you, I'll put it in short. I don't know if this is God's doing, and since I keep strongly insisting I don't believe in a greater power, I might have been naive because alot of things have been going right for me, it couldn't just be Coincidence. Like the perfect timing an sms came, asking me to meet somewhere really near, just before I boarded the bus heading the opposite direction. Or the great joy and emotions experienced by a dear guardian as a result of my actions. Or the sudden change of fact that my model would be free the whole week when he was initially working. Or how my participation in Golf have been an avenue of relieving stress and great joy for my dad. Alot of things were not within my own control, and yet it just happened, at an exceptionally perfect timing.

Are You really there?