Processing Thoughts.

Going off for a short break, a stressful holiday with 5 AND COUNTING HUGE assignments due next week. Freak, don't even know why I agreed to go in the first place. Been worrying too much, and thinking more than i should. I'm tired, mentally and physically. Really am. I really don't know what I want, what i need. Feeling trapped, stressed and worn out.

Has friendship taken a new meaning? Have things changed between me and my best friend? It just doesn't feel the same anymore. I definately have a part to play. Aye... thinking too much again.

What happened to her? The friend I've been protective over the past 2 years have just decided to walk another route and became a whole new person. I'm guilty of so much of that change, if only time could rewind. What am I to do now? Or am i assuming too much from the facade I see, from the incidents i witness? Have she really change? Choices, who influences them?

Teenage, a generation so complicated, so hard to understand. What are their morals, do some even value their lives? Priorities, do they even have them?

How much am I willing to accomodate and stop living the dream I've always hope to etch an existence? Am i able to "grow" and mature a little more in my expectations, face the world of reality in this relationship? Why is this so much different from the rest? It just doesn't feel the same. I don't know, i don't know, I don't know. Is it because I love and care so much for you that I perhaps sometimes stop myself from being "needy", being perhaps a little manjah? Am I not being "me"? I know its not you to be, is that why I am no longer a die heart romantic? Why am I being the strong me, not even daring to reveal the weaker side? Or have I just become stronger? Your existence have enforced and strengthened so many of my standing values, I'm simply back to the old high-flying self. Yet I feel empty, hollow. What is the missing puzzle? *slaps myself* Stef! You're simply not cut out for thinking!

I guess the late hours is forcing me to simply write my emotions without much processing through the mass up there. I'm going to sleep. I don't even know what I rattling about.

I'm missing you. I really wish you're here.